Stay
by Saiya-jin girl
Summary: Season 8. When Castiel shows up at the MOL bunker, Dean immediately slips into smotherly mode, i.e forcing Cas to take a shower, making him grilled cheese and putting him to bed. When it comes down to it, Dean doesn't care where Cas has been, he's more interested in where he's going, and more importantly, if he wants to stay. Light fluff. Sweet, fluffy fluff.


Dean wakes up one night to find Castiel sitting in front of the television, his face bathed in the blue glow coming from the screen.

"Cas?" Dean says softly.

Castiel looks up at Dean and gives him a small smile. "Hello Dean," he says.

Dean knows that he should be surprised, but at this point, nothing surprises him much anymore. It's been over a month since he has last seen Castiel and he is a sight for sore eyes. "Cas, what are you doing here?" Dean asks. He sits down next to him on the couch and does not even notice when Castiel unconsciously shifts closer to him.

"Well, we saved the world," Castiel says dryly.

Dean looks at him expectantly, waiting for him to continue but Cas remains silent.

"Yeah, I know that, but I thought you went off to...find yourself or something," Dean says, confused.

Castiel smiles and continues to watch the television.

Dean studies Castiel's profile in the darkness of the room. His face looks tired and drawn and it suddenly dawns on him just how much he has _missed_ Castiel. He finds that he doesn't care where Cas has been. He is more concerned about where he plans to go, and more importantly, if he wants to _stay. _

"Cas?" Dean says quietly.

Castiel turns to him, a serene expression on his face. "Yes, Dean?" he asks.

Dean turns the question over in his mind several times before they leave his lips. How would Cas react if he asked him to stay? Was he even planning on staying long or was he going to disappear again leaving Dean to spend his days wondering where he was?

"Do you want to stay?" Dean blurts out awkwardly.

Castiel leans in closer to Dean, closing the space between them. "That's what I came here to do, Dean. That is, if you don't mind," he says.

Dean feels blood rushing to his cheeks and he is suddenly grateful for the darkness in the room. Cas wants to stay. "Of course I don't mind," Dean says.

They stare at each other for a moment, savoring the quietness and the darkness surrounding them.

Castiel suddenly yawns and Dean frowns.

"You yawn?" he asks incredulously.

Castiel shrugs. "It's new," he says.

"Do you sleep now, too?" Dean asks, half-joking.

Castiel nods and when he turns to Dean, Dean can suddenly see the dark circles beneath the angel's eyes.

"I don't have to but...it is quite refreshing I've noticed," Castiel says.

"It is. But when was the last time you actually _slept_?" Dean scolds.

"I don't know. It has been a week or two," Castiel admits sheepishly.

Dean shakes his head, immediately flipping into caretaker mode.

"Cas, you need rest. We've all been to hell and back closing those doors, and you took a bigger hit than Sam and I and you know it," Dean says.

"I know, Dean I just...have a hard time falling asleep, that's all," he says quietly.

Dean observes him for a moment and then he gets up. "Come on," Dean says.

Castiel gets up and wordlessly follows Dean into the darkness.

Dean leads Castiel towards his bedroom and he flips on the light. He immediately goes over to the closet and rummages around for some things while Castiel stands in the doorway.

"Is this your room?" Castiel asks with a small smile as his eyes roam over Dean's possessions. They linger for a moment on Dean's bed, and on the wide array of weapons that have been mounted onto the walls.

Dean turns around and suddenly, he's shy. "Uh, yeah," he says with a slight blush. He walks over to Cas and hands him a towel, a pair of boxers, and a matching set of pajamas.

"What is this for?" Castiel asks looking down at the clothes in his arms.

"For a shower, the one you're going to take while I make you something to eat," Dean says sternly.

Castiel frowns at the clothes. "But I could simply change into them," Castiel says.

Dean sighs. "Cas. Believe me, you _need_ a shower. Have you ever showered before?" Dean asks.

Castiel shakes his head.

Dean lifts an eyebrow. "Well, follow me," he says.

Castiel follows Dean again, this time into the bathroom.

Dean pushes the shower curtain out of the way and turns the shower handles, adjusting the temperature of the water until it's just right. "There's soap in there, and shampoo if you want to wash your hair," Dean explains.

Castiel stands in the bathroom looking around and Dean gently takes the clothes and the towel from Cas' arms. He puts them down and turns to Castiel.

"Take off your coat, Cas," Dean orders.

Castiel is surprised for a moment but then he takes off the dirty old trench coat and hands it to Dean, who folds it up and puts it aside. Dean steps up to Cas and begins to work on his tie.

Castiel cocks his head to the side slightly and observes Dean as he deftly undoes Cas' tie. When he gets it off, he tosses it to the side.

Dean fights the urge to smirk at Cas as he slowly unbuttons the first button of his shirt.

Castiel blushes furiously and brings his hand up to cover Dean's. "I think I can handle the rest of them, Dean," Castiel says.

Dean blinks and quickly drops his hands to his sides. "Yeah, yeah of course. Okay, so you shower, and change and I'll be in the kitchen," Dean says. He squeezes past Castiel, extra aware of their bodies as they brush up against each other.

"Dean," Castiel says.

Dean stops in the doorway. "Yeah, Cas?"

"Thank you," Castiel says softly.

Dean feels himself blushing again and he smiles awkwardly. "Don't mention it, Cas," he says.

* * *

In the kitchen, Dean puts a kettle on and warms up some water to make Castiel a mug of hot tea. He gets out some bread and cheese and begins to make a grilled cheese sandwich.

"Dean?"

Dean looks up from the counter to see Sam rubbing his eyes in the doorway.

"Cas is here," Dean says simply.

Sam's eyes roam from the kettle to the bread and then they finally stop on Dean. Sam lifts an eyebrow. "And you're making him dinner?" Sam asks with a small smile.

"He can't sleep. I put him in the bathroom to take a shower," Dean says. He busies himself with slicing the cheese and placing them on the slices of bread on the plate before him.

Sam frowns. "Oh, wow, he sleeps now? Okay. Do you want me to clear out one of the guest rooms for him?" he asks.

Dean looks up at Sam. "Guest room?" he asks.

"Yeah, do you expect him to sleep on the couch or something?" Sam asks.

Dean finishes with the cheese and spreads some butter on the bread. He hadn't really given much thought to where Cas would sleep, he realized.

"Oh, I mean…it's fine. I'll do it," Dean says.

Sam gives Dean a look and then he rolls his eyes.

"What's that look for?" Dean asks.

Sam shakes his head. "Nothing," he says quickly.

"Sammy don't lie to me," Dean says as he puts the sandwich down into the pan.

Sam shoves his hands in his pockets and he shrugs. "I don't know. When are you gonna realize that this might be something more, Dean?" Sam asks.

Dean freezes.

"Dean?" Sam says.

Dean turns around to face Sam. "What is that supposed to mean?" he asks.

Sam rolls his eyes. "I think you're old enough to figure it out on your own," Sam says gently. "I mean, it's 2 am and you're making Cas grilled cheese?"

"I'd do the same for you and you know it," Dean snaps.

Sam snorts. "Yeah I know. Just…allow yourself to be happy, okay Dean? I'm sure Cas feels the same way," Sam says.

Dean turns back to the grilled cheese and flips it over.

"I'm going back to bed," Sam says.

Dean grunts good night and continues to stew on what Sam had just told him. What the hell did Sam mean by realizing that this was something more? And what was the big deal if he wanted to make Cas a grilled cheese sandwich? Dean flips the sandwich again. Sam just wanted him to be happy; to allow himself to be happy. Dean rolls his eyes. He's plenty happy, he thinks to himself. But he stops for a moment to think about when he's been the happiest lately, and as much as it scares him to admit it, it's when he's with Cas. And then there's Cas with his little nerdy ass. _I'm sure Cas feels the same way. _The words echo in his head and he shrugs off the uncomfortable sensation that begins to weigh on his chest.

A soft cough startles him and he turns around to see Castiel standing at the kitchen counter in the pair of blue and white pajamas that he had given him. He looks pink from the shower and Dean can smell the soap from where he's standing. He removes the sandwich from the pan and carefully cuts it in two. He then pours some hot water into a mug with a tea bag.

Castiel observes Dean in silence as he makes his way around the kitchen.

"How was the shower?" Dean asks.

Castiel folds his arms across his chest. "It was fine. Very…warm," he replies.

"Come sit," Dean says pointing to a chair.

Castiel walks over to the chair obediently and sits down.

Dean places the dish before him with the grilled cheese and places a large mug of tea next to it. "Eat," he says.

Castiel picks up the sandwich gingerly and takes a bite.

Dean watches him expectantly and smiles when Castiel takes another bite. "Good?" Dean asks. He sits across from Cas.

Castiel nods. "It's quite delicious. What is this?" he asks.

"Grilled cheese," Dean says with a twinkle in his eye. He watches Cas in silence as he eats the grilled cheese. He chuckles as Castiel inspects it closely, and as he watches the cheese as it oozes out of the bread.

"Why is it doing that?" Castiel asks.

"That's just what it does. The cheese melts," Dean explains.

Dean is old enough to know now how it feels when he likes someone. He knows about the butterflies that show up out of nowhere, and he knows how protective he can get, how _smotherly_ he can be, as Sam calls it. He knows about how angry he can get at the person sometimes when he knows they aren't doing what they should be doing. He knows about how his heart feels when he looks at the person he loves, or how it _should_ feel. He thinks back about his past loves; his first and only_ true_ love, up to that point, Cassie, and how he felt when he had finally seen her for the first time in years. He avoids Castiel's piercing gaze and chooses instead to look down at his hands. The same hands that had chopped off the heads of vampires, stabbed angels, tortured demons, the same hands had been used to make tea and grilled cheese sandwiches and occasionally ruffle Cas' hair, back when things were less complicated. He looks up and sees that Cas has finished eating and he is quietly sipping his tea, staring at Dean.

"Everything okay?" he asks.

Castiel smiles; that gentle, seemingly all knowing smile that he always did. "Yes, Dean. Everything is fine. Thank you for the lovely melted cheese dish," Castiel says.

Dean chuckles. "I mean, you feeling okay? Not just physically, in here," Dean says as he gently touches his chest.

Castiel frowns. "I don't understand."

"I mean, emotionally, how are you doing?" Dean asks. It's always strange for him to talk about 'emotions' but he's been getting much better at it, thanks to Charlie. He knows that sometimes people have things that they need to get off their chests and they won't say anything until they are pushed and prodded down into the right direction. Dean knew about this all too well.

"Emotionally, I am a little drained. But I feel much better being here, being with you…and Sam," he adds hastily.

"Okay," Dean says. "Well listen, you know you're welcome to stay here as long as you need," Dean says. "This is your home too, Cas," he says gently.

"I've been…wandering the Earth for a while. I thought I would go see the sights and…experience humanity but…"

Dean stares at Cas expectantly. "But?" he asks.

"But I…realized that I just wanted to come back here and spend time with you…and Sam," he adds again quickly.

Dean doesn't know if he should laugh or cry.

"That's fine, Cas," Dean says. "So, I was going to…clear out one of the guest rooms for you…" Dean begins.

Castiel looks up at him and gives him a look similar to the one that had been plastered on his face when they had visited the 'den of iniquity' as Cas had dubbed it.

"I think I'd much rather stay with you…or Sam, if that's better…for you," Castiel says awkwardly.

Dean lifts an eyebrow. "Well, Sam probably isn't the best person to sleep with right now. He's...a kicker," Dean says.

"Oh," Castiel says.

Dean licks his lips. Does Castiel want to sleep with _him_ in his bed? "Um, I mean, you can…spend the night with me if that'll help you sleep," Dean says.

"Yes," Castiel says quickly, _too _quickly.

"Well finish your tea and then we can…go to bed," Dean says.

Castiel gulps down his remaining tea and places the mug on the table.

Dean still doesn't know if he should laugh or cry. He takes the dishes and places them in the sink. He runs the water and is about to wash them when he turns around and sees that Cas is still staring at him with a wistful look on his face. He turns the tap off. The dishes can wait until tomorrow. "Come on, Cas," Dean says.

Castiel follows him quietly through the kitchen and back to Dean's room.

* * *

Dean closes the door and tosses an extra pillow onto the bed. He automatically removes his shirt and tosses it onto his hamper when he realizes that for the first time in a long time, he has company.

Castiel just stares at him, like a deer caught in headlights.

Dean walks over to the hamper and grabs the shirt.

"It's fine, Dean. I shouldn't be putting you out, as you all say, I should just sleep in another room so you can be comfortable," Castiel says.

Dean rolls his eyes and slips the shirt over his head. "Shut up, Cas. You know you're not going to fall asleep by yourself," Dean says.

"Why not?" Castiel asks.

"Because you'll relax more if I'm there with you…or Sam," Dean adds quickly.

Castiel nods awkwardly. "Of course," he says.

"Well, hop in," Dean says as he flips the light switch.

The room is silent and the only sound to be heard is the rustling of sheets and the movement of their bodies as they attempt to claim their own space on the mattress. Dean accidentally brushes against Castiel's arm and he freezes for a moment but then he realizes that they're in the dark and it's okay and he also quite possibly is about to spend the night with an angel who he might be in love with and that was also totally okay. He forces himself to lie down and relax and pulls the covers up to his chest. He has left a decent amount of empty space between him and Castiel but just as Cas did earlier on the couch, he shifts closer to Dean's body. Dean's breath hitches in his throat when he realizes just how close Cas is to him. He can feel the warmth radiating from Castiel's body, he can smell Cas, and suddenly, without much thought, he reaches out and wraps his arm around Castiel's waist. He feels Cas' body tense up for a moment and he goes to remove his hand.

"Leave it, Dean," Cas scolds lightly. He pushes himself closer to Dean, and snuggles into the pillow.

Dean holds on to Castiel and he can feel his own heart beat slowing down. He hooks his chin on Cas' shoulder and Cas' hair tickles his nose but he doesn't mind. He hears Cas yawn again and he holds him tighter, making him feel comfortable in his arms. He can feel Castiel relax and eventually, he falls asleep. He wants to laugh at how adorable Cas' little snores are but he keeps his mouth shut and closes his eyes.

He's lying on his bed, in his room, in his home, with an angel in his arms. If someone had asked Dean 5 years ago where he thought he would be now, he would have probably said dead, or something equally depressing. He understood now what Sam was talking about earlier, and as his eyes began to droop down, as his breathing began to slow, he held on to Cas tightly and smiled. He would allow himself to be happy. And he hoped that Cas would stay.

He needed him too much to ever let him leave again.


End file.
